In this advertisement it is suggested that many gross things will go through your mouth, as implied in the phrase “what will go through your mouth today?” The product advertised -- Listerine -- will fix that.
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
A Summary, A Paraphrase, And A Quote Walk Into A Bar...
To wrap up the essay "Lydia's Story", Jan Brideau reiterates that she worked with hurricane victims to ensure the safety of the people, but Lydia's bravery and stubbornness to survive made the story stand out to Jan (131). The essay is a record of one survivor of a natural disaster that struck in Louisiana and covers how she escaped the horrors of escaping her flooded house days after the storm. Personally, this story connected with me because I love the water, and it was terrifying to learn about a darker side to the liquid of life. "She was unable to shut the door against the brown rushing water. Horrified, she tried not to panic. Seeking higher ground, she climbed on top of her dining room table" (129).
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Page 181 Questions 1-4
1. Melissa Rubin points out that because of advertising strategies that target a broad audience it helps capture the essence of society at that point in time. The evidence she uses to prove her point is implied, simply because the things she says are backed up by the knowledge the reader possesses. For example she states that mostly men are in the picture and men in the military are highlighted, which targets the "white, male-dominated society in which servicemen and veterans were a numerous and prominent presence." This can easily be backed up by knowledge the average American contains, since it was preached to us throughout our learning years.
2. (Apparently my answer to number one is also an answer for number two, so I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be answering for number one.) As you can see as I answered in number one, her evidence is almost solely backed by historical context, which makes the analysis more sturdy since people have a basic knowledge of the time period they can confirm her facts, and makes her analysis much less arguable.
3. Another question you may answer by analyzing an ad is how do these advertising techniques improve the sales of a product, or how much more likely is someone to buy a product if these techniques are used compared to if they are not.
4. The Geico commercials you see on YouTube are very accurate representations of our era. Usually done by male actors, you see a peek of the ideals of a still male-dominated society, but the first one I think of is the ad that takes place in the elevator. Possibly not on purpose, but a white male is speaking with an African American male, is a bit taller than the African American male. He says "I say savings," and shakes the man's hand. This could be representative of the power that still resides in the white society over minorities, and then the announcer speaks once the men freeze. He says "You can't skip this Geico ad, because it's already over." Before Geico paid so their ads had no skip button period, the skip button came up at this point. This is another example of male power, as he has control over the viewers and they are not allowed to skip the ad. The viewer could walk away from the computer, but the ad is only 15 seconds so it doesn't really make sense to do so. America currently is in a power struggle, between people in the US and with other countries, so this ounce of control makes a big difference. There is also no female in this ad until the very end and she is very rushed. She skips in with her head down, coffee in one hand and phone in the other, and says "two, please." Americans sure love their cellular devices and coffee. She doesn't look up until she doesn't get a response and sees the odd sight of two men frozen still in an elevator. Starting with a naturally submissive gesture and only changing it when something was out of the ordinary, she asks "what's going on," such as the victims of a prank video going viral on YouTube. She looks a bit insecure and nervous, but the button for her floor is never pressed. This can be taken a few ways. It could show the laziness residing in the American society, or you can take a completely misogynistic view and say that a woman needs a man to do everything for her. Either way it is revealing about not only the society, but the views of the society from person to person.
What I thought was extremely interesting is there is an "extended cut" of this advertisement, where the woman's head is up, she asks more and more about what is going on, and when they don't answer she seems bossy and almost rude, saying she'll just "do it myself." She walks around them with a disturbed and almost disgusted facial expression, and presses the button. The elevator closes, and when it opens on her floor her expression turns to freaked out as the men still stand frozen, possibly referring back to the idea that women seem lost and confused without the guidance of men. Interesting how the first 30 seconds - how long the advertisement probably would have been if it was on TV, doesn't have this message of gender inequality, but both the final versions do.
2. (Apparently my answer to number one is also an answer for number two, so I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be answering for number one.) As you can see as I answered in number one, her evidence is almost solely backed by historical context, which makes the analysis more sturdy since people have a basic knowledge of the time period they can confirm her facts, and makes her analysis much less arguable.
3. Another question you may answer by analyzing an ad is how do these advertising techniques improve the sales of a product, or how much more likely is someone to buy a product if these techniques are used compared to if they are not.
4. The Geico commercials you see on YouTube are very accurate representations of our era. Usually done by male actors, you see a peek of the ideals of a still male-dominated society, but the first one I think of is the ad that takes place in the elevator. Possibly not on purpose, but a white male is speaking with an African American male, is a bit taller than the African American male. He says "I say savings," and shakes the man's hand. This could be representative of the power that still resides in the white society over minorities, and then the announcer speaks once the men freeze. He says "You can't skip this Geico ad, because it's already over." Before Geico paid so their ads had no skip button period, the skip button came up at this point. This is another example of male power, as he has control over the viewers and they are not allowed to skip the ad. The viewer could walk away from the computer, but the ad is only 15 seconds so it doesn't really make sense to do so. America currently is in a power struggle, between people in the US and with other countries, so this ounce of control makes a big difference. There is also no female in this ad until the very end and she is very rushed. She skips in with her head down, coffee in one hand and phone in the other, and says "two, please." Americans sure love their cellular devices and coffee. She doesn't look up until she doesn't get a response and sees the odd sight of two men frozen still in an elevator. Starting with a naturally submissive gesture and only changing it when something was out of the ordinary, she asks "what's going on," such as the victims of a prank video going viral on YouTube. She looks a bit insecure and nervous, but the button for her floor is never pressed. This can be taken a few ways. It could show the laziness residing in the American society, or you can take a completely misogynistic view and say that a woman needs a man to do everything for her. Either way it is revealing about not only the society, but the views of the society from person to person.
What I thought was extremely interesting is there is an "extended cut" of this advertisement, where the woman's head is up, she asks more and more about what is going on, and when they don't answer she seems bossy and almost rude, saying she'll just "do it myself." She walks around them with a disturbed and almost disgusted facial expression, and presses the button. The elevator closes, and when it opens on her floor her expression turns to freaked out as the men still stand frozen, possibly referring back to the idea that women seem lost and confused without the guidance of men. Interesting how the first 30 seconds - how long the advertisement probably would have been if it was on TV, doesn't have this message of gender inequality, but both the final versions do.
Summary of Rubin's Essay
Just after WWII, the American society boomed with new technology and major changes in population, from shrinking in the war to an increase after. This quick transition into the Industrial Era brought in many new products and allowed more money to trade hands as the economy improved. But America wasn't the only thing that changed. The thought processes behind a particular Coca-Cola ad that showed up after the war proved how ads reflect society. Melissa Rubin analyzed this ad in her essay "Advertisements R Us" , separating the features into a categories: objects in the ad, context of the time period, the target audience's feelings at the time, placement, and many more features she mentions make for a great view into society as a whole. Starting with a basic summary, she goes over the thoughts and ideals of a society dominated by white males. Directly after she then sums up her findings on how Coca-Cola grew, most likely because of these advertisements. Coca-Cola after WWII rose to have the top two most enjoyed drinks in all of the USA, number one being the original and number two being it's diet counterpart. In the very last paragraph after she's dissected all of the parts of the advertisement, she wrapped it up with a brief summary of her point, just like I've had to do now.
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Analysis Paper Analysis
This constitutes as an analysis paper because it takes three sources, the three ads, and breaks them down into a few parts: the purpose of what is being communicated in the ad, how the visuals support this purpose, along with a comparison of a few different ads scattered in between. You can see the train of thought as they break down the ad. Then the purpose of the ad is mentioned again so you as a reader are more likely to agree with the claim since you now have the information to make the choice for yourself.
To be a bit more specific on the details that make this an analysis paper, we need to see the possible motivation behind writing this piece and the audience of readers the author directed his message at. In my opinion, I think the author wrote to people who don't believe they are tricked by advertisements, but also females as a whole. Most females fall for this trap and buy these products with this end result in mind. They may say they feel good about themselves, but I can't number how many females I've talked to that want to "get married one day". An interest in the topic may have grown in the first place because the author had someone in his life at some point or another who was affected, or he genuinely thinks that the ads are manipulative and don't agree with how they earn money.
To be a bit more specific on the details that make this an analysis paper, we need to see the possible motivation behind writing this piece and the audience of readers the author directed his message at. In my opinion, I think the author wrote to people who don't believe they are tricked by advertisements, but also females as a whole. Most females fall for this trap and buy these products with this end result in mind. They may say they feel good about themselves, but I can't number how many females I've talked to that want to "get married one day". An interest in the topic may have grown in the first place because the author had someone in his life at some point or another who was affected, or he genuinely thinks that the ads are manipulative and don't agree with how they earn money.
Discussion of The Homework
There are many different ways to approach an analysis paper.
One of these ways is just talking about your process of analyzing a paper, and
or talking about your analysis in general. Another is that the analysis itself
is usually the bulk of a paper, which is also doubled as the evidence to
support the point you were trying to make in the beginning. What are the motivations
behind your analysis, and what is the context that made you believe what you
did. We learned more about the idea of using the how you feel to get a better
impact, especially since your audience is similar or exactly opposite of your
stance as your beliefs will be more powerful. We learned a lot about counter arguments
and better ways to write/ understand them. When we are given topics that we dislike,
it’s hard sometimes to find the point you’re supposed to defend, and it’s
easier at times to find the counter argument and work from there.
Page 175 #1-4
1. Her main insight about Mad Men is like she states in the first paragraph: it captures the essence of the American dream as it becomes less and less attainable. Throughout the piece she describes characters and how each and every one of them describe an aspect of this idea, and though I didn't understand all of it due to sleep deprivation, I still got the idea. This is well shown again just before and in the conclusion itself. She claims "This is the genius of Mad Men, its dramatic reenactment of the disconnect between the dream of dashing heroes and their beautiful wives, living in style among..." (page 174 paragraph 4) and "The American dream itself is a carefully packages, soulless affair." (page 175 paragraph 1).
2. She establishes authority on the topic by knowing much about it and being able to cite specific evidence to not only prove her claim, but back up her credibility as well. From talking about "last season", a term used when you've watched content, to noting character development as the seasons progressed.
3. From the very beginning she is using pathos to hook the reader in until she can back up her point with evidence. She writes on page 171 paragraph 1 that "we're always falling short, no matter what our resources," and it is something that is true among most people. Most people feel that they are not good enough and the life they are living is not good enough. Later in the passage on page 174, paragraph 4 (on page 175) that Americans constantly compare their lives to the show and ask what's missing from their life, what more they want and sparking their desires. Everyone understands that their harshest critic is themselves, and knowing that makes this realization that much more painful when the reader understands people make you judge yourself so that the people can fill the "void" that the reader created, whether it's makeup, the iPhone 6S, or even getting a dog.
4. I have never seen Mad Men and from how she has described it, I don't really want to watch it. From what I gathered the show has a way of revealing the bad side of the American dream, which I think about far too often as is. Every time I see an advertisement I think of how easy my mind has been manipulated to believe so many lies, and I don't need to watch a TV show that would reinforce that.
2. She establishes authority on the topic by knowing much about it and being able to cite specific evidence to not only prove her claim, but back up her credibility as well. From talking about "last season", a term used when you've watched content, to noting character development as the seasons progressed.
3. From the very beginning she is using pathos to hook the reader in until she can back up her point with evidence. She writes on page 171 paragraph 1 that "we're always falling short, no matter what our resources," and it is something that is true among most people. Most people feel that they are not good enough and the life they are living is not good enough. Later in the passage on page 174, paragraph 4 (on page 175) that Americans constantly compare their lives to the show and ask what's missing from their life, what more they want and sparking their desires. Everyone understands that their harshest critic is themselves, and knowing that makes this realization that much more painful when the reader understands people make you judge yourself so that the people can fill the "void" that the reader created, whether it's makeup, the iPhone 6S, or even getting a dog.
4. I have never seen Mad Men and from how she has described it, I don't really want to watch it. From what I gathered the show has a way of revealing the bad side of the American dream, which I think about far too often as is. Every time I see an advertisement I think of how easy my mind has been manipulated to believe so many lies, and I don't need to watch a TV show that would reinforce that.
Final Draft Paper #1
Taking Literacy Seriously
“Oh bug off Donovan, leave Chloe alone.” Mai Ly piped in as she typed a bit more, probably editing her story as she looked over her own work before sparing a glance at me over her computer screen, tucking a piece of hair caught in her glasses behind her ear. “Maybe you could try to think of a conflict between two characters? Start with that and try from there.”
About a month from the end of my 9th grade year, I was assigned with my biggest creative writing piece challenge yet on the genre of my choice. I was still completely in love with fantasy adventure and knew instantly it would be my genre of choice to write about. But the main problem still remained. What topic was worth writing 15 pages about? I made a friend in the class by the name of Mai Ly, who I instantly asked for help from. I remember her and many other people in my life always telling me: “You’re creative, let your imagination run wild.”
They were right, the brainstorming wasn’t the challenging part. I quickly came up with a big list of topics, but I wanted the perfect topic. The book-worthy topic, one that would start my writing career. I thought of myself as S.E Hinton writing the outsiders, and wanted everything to be perfect. So I took inspiration from my favorite piece I’d previously written in the class, and imagined a spin-off of the plot.
The biggest challenge with this piece was the length, the closer I got to the length of a novel the less I was sure of my writing. Longer pieces meant more worries about pacing, amount of detail, and fighting to stay on topic. For me all of those things were the struggles that I wanted to fix when I signed up for the class. I had the skill to write it, but for days I sat and stared at my introduction paragraph. I wondered how for someone who had worked for so long and wanted to be a writer so badly, how I could be so bad.
I sat in class on this particular day and listened to the hum of computers around me, the tapping of keys, and almost the panic from the students as the final due date loomed closer. Maybe that was just me. Still under 15 pages, I sighed and looked down at the keys hoping they would give me inspiration. The right shift key was missing, and the a-symmetry bothered me. I was at a loss for words on my topic, a page and a half in. Not even a thousand words. This was as far as I’d gone before. I remembered something I’d learned when I did a bit of research for fun into psychology, you looked down in desperation, and up for inspiration. So I lifted my chin and looked around the creative writing classroom. There wasn’t much to see, the white walls that I’d stared at hundreds of times before, the scattering of posters around the room. My teacher Mrs. Boss was sitting at her desk in the middle of the room, probably checking someone else’s final. I looked around to possibly see whose it was, but only saw people hunched over computers. My friend Donovan looked over and smirked at me. “Getting a lot done, I see.”
I grit my teeth and looked at my computer. “A lot more than the two words you have. I can’t think of anything else to write about.” I said and looked back at where I had left off, scrolling up and down to read my story in full again.
“Does it look like I care about this class? I’m already failing anyways.” He said with a shrug and looked back at keyboards on his flash drive. “You’re trying too hard.”“Oh bug off Donovan, leave Chloe alone.” Mai Ly piped in as she typed a bit more, probably editing her story as she looked over her own work before sparing a glance at me over her computer screen, tucking a piece of hair caught in her glasses behind her ear. “Maybe you could try to think of a conflict between two characters? Start with that and try from there.”
I sighed in exasperation with this assignment. It sounded fun but it was so long. “Thank you, I’ll try. The ideas are flowing but I don’t know how to put them in…” I thought for a moment and then I had a light bulb-moment. I started to smile and typed quickly as I could. I put pieces from the old story that was my inspiration into the new story, which added a few pages. “A journal… Maybe she can have a journal…” I muttered to myself.
After a few more days of finding little tips and tricks to increase my word count without much more meaning to it, another two pages was due. I wasn’t ready to get my check-in or turn it in yet. My teacher finally got the gist that I was having a problem when I missed the second and third check-in dates, and she asked how I was doing.
My response came back similar to “It’s going okay!” but I must have had a sheer look of terror on my face. She looked over my story so far and she told me it was a good start. She also said I needed to understand the control I took of characters. They were mine, like puppets on puppet strings. I tried to imagine each movement of their limbs and the story progressed at an odd rate. I compared my story to the books I’d read, and it was the piece of information I needed. Slowly the story started to come together, and whenever I got stuck I read back through my work so far to see if there was anything I could edit to fix pacing or change my diction.
Eventually this became what I fixated on and it was a problem of length all over again. It was becoming hard to depress the inner urge to be perfect, in order to get the words and ideas onto the page. I grew tired of the project quickly, aware that my work would never be "perfect".
The last time my teacher checked in with us there was still a week or two left. I barely had half of my story done. She suggested I focused on the story again and write out as much as I could before editing. Easier said than done, but I tried to do as she instructed.
The last time my teacher checked in with us there was still a week or two left. I barely had half of my story done. She suggested I focused on the story again and write out as much as I could before editing. Easier said than done, but I tried to do as she instructed.
On an odd day when I felt inspiration but didn’t know how to write it out, I went and asked Mai Ly for help. She suggested free writing to me, but, when I asked about how to incorporate the writing I’d done she didn’t know how. All the students but the experienced writers in the class were facing the same problem as me. I continued to write, determined to at least have something to turn in. I copied and pasted everything I’d written into the assignment and edited from there. That added about 1,000 words to my story. I was almost at my total goal.
With no further assistance I could get from my teacher, and Mai Ly hard at work on her own piece, it was time for me to finish on my own. Using the knowledge of what I’d learned in the class and fought to keep myself focused up until the bell, even if I had to run to the bus. What mattered was that I learned from the experience I gained in the class, and finished the last assignment. To get a last minute attempt at help, I asked my English teacher to edit my work about a week before the school year ended, which she not only did edit but she also improved my grade in English because she found me to be proficient in writing at long lengths. I didn’t end up getting my story back from either my English teacher or my creative writing teacher, but both told me when I came back the next year that they loved the story and my creative writing teacher actually suggested I write a book off of it. Just hearing that sentence alone was more important to me than the A I received in the class.
When I originally registered for high school, I had music production as my elective, and was disappointed by having to take creative writing instead, but it turned out to be the most inspirational class of my two years of high school.
Thursday, October 15, 2015
In-class Labs 10/15
In-class Lab pg. 138
|
Decision
to Make
|
The
Result
|
Info
I gathered
|
|
What
I had for breakfast
|
A
lot of carbohydrates, a protein shake
|
Carbohydrates
make me feel less stressed, need a balanced meal
|
|
When
I leave for school
|
An
hour before school starts
|
Extra
time needed to do homework
|
|
Writing
a new project
|
Another
new project
|
I
don’t know what to say if a project goes too long, small project to spur
creativity for the original
|
|
How
long/when I do homework
|
Not
afternoon, at night when my family watches TV, in the morning before school,
not as much time
|
I
don’t work well around my family, usually wait until the morning before school
so I’m alone
|
|
Whether
or not I should ever listen to Corben ever again
|
Listen
to him again
|
He’s
hard to tune out, funny sometimes
|
|
How
much time I should leave to practice before giving a presentation
|
Two
days
|
Was
afraid I didn’t have enough research, didn’t manage my time well, didn’t know
what to expect
|
|
Dressing
up for Halloween
|
Still
not decided
|
It’s
stupid, but peer pressure
|
In-class Lab pg. 141
#1: Kindle Paper White e-reader by Amazon -- It's simple in functionality as it's only purpose is to download and read books on. It's made and shipped through a brand I trust more than the other and costs $120. Would be perfect to get Audible books on as well since they work through the same company. Slide it in your backpack with your laptop and you're good to go. I tend to favor this one because I don't want to get a computer and a tablet and not use one because I have the other, which makes this a great cheap option. Requires wifi to download books but you can read them offline. Since I have a phone this may be a little useless since I can read them on my phone.
#2: Nook e-reader by Nook -- It works as a tablet: you have access to the android app store and all the google features quickly, from email to youtube. It also is the biggest app store period. I trust Barnes and Noble since it's where I get all my paper books from, but being connected to google makes me worried about what information they could possibly receive (social security numbers, credit card info etc.) and use in applications I'm unaware of. Not sure if they supply audio books, but I'm sure they do somewhere. I can connect to wifi at Barnes and Noble for free which makes me wonder if I need to be online to read books. It costs from $150-$400. This could be a good option because I had an e-reader before and didn't use it because it didn't have the functionality of a tablet and later got one, no longer using my tablet at all. However since I have an iPhone which has it's own app store and you can get books on as well, seems like it would be my phone without data and not very useful.
End result: I'll probably get a good laptop instead and read on there, making both of these not really useful at all since computers can do all of that and more.
Literacy Narrative
Taking Literacy Seriously
About a month from the end of my 9th grade year,
I was assigned with my biggest creative writing piece challenge yet on the
genre of my choice. I was still completely in love with fantasy adventure and
knew instantly it would be my genre of choice to write about. But the main
problem still remained. What topic was worth writing 15 pages about? I made a
friend in the class by the name of Mai Ly, who I instantly asked for help from.
I remember her and many other people in my life always telling me: “You’re
creative, let your imagination run wild.”
They were right, the brainstorming wasn’t the challenging
part. I quickly came up with a big list of topics, but I wanted the perfect
topic. The book-worthy topic. So I took inspiration from my favorite piece I’d
previously written in the class, and imagined a spin-off of the plot.
The biggest challenge with this piece was the length, the
closer I got to the length of a novel the less I was sure of my writing. Longer
pieces meant more worries about pacing, amount of detail, and fighting to stay
on topic. For me all of those things were the struggles that I wanted to fix
when I signed up for the class. I had the skill to write it, but for days I sat
and stared at my introduction paragraph.
I sat in class on this particular day and listened to the
hum of computers around me, the tapping of keys, and almost the panic from the
students as the final due date loomed closer. Maybe that was just me. Still
under 15 pages, I sighed and looked down at the keys hoping they would give me
inspiration. The right shift key was missing, and the a-symmetry bothered me. I
was at a loss for words on my topic, a page and a half in. Not even a thousand
words. This was as far as I’d gone before. I remembered something I’d learned when
I did a bit of research for fun into psychology, you looked down in
desperation, and up for inspiration. So I lifted my chin and looked around the
creative writing classroom. There wasn’t much to see, the white walls that I’d
stared at hundreds of times before, the scattering of posters around the room.
My teacher Mrs. Boss was sitting at her desk in the middle of the room,
probably checking someone else’s final. I looked around to possibly see whose
it was, but only saw people hunched over computers. My friend Donovan looked
over and smirked at me. “Getting a lot done, I see.”
I grit my teeth and looked at my computer. “A lot more than
the two words you have. I can’t think of anything else to write about.” I said
and looked back at where I had left off, scrolling up and down to read my story
in full again.
“Does it look like I care about this class? I’m already
failing anyways.” He said with a shrug and looked back at keyboards on his
flash drive. “You’re trying too hard.”
“Oh bug off Donovan, leave Chloe alone.” Mai Ly piped in as
she typed a bit more, probably editing her story as she looked over her own
work before sparing a glance at me over her computer screen, tucking a piece of
hair caught in her glasses behind her ear. “Maybe you could try to think of a
conflict between two characters? Start with that and try from there.”
I sighed in exasperation with this assignment. It sounded
fun but it was so long. “Thank you, I’ll try. The ideas are flowing but I don’t
know how to put them in…” I thought for a moment and then I had a light
bulb-moment. I started to smile and typed quickly as I could. I put pieces from
the old story that was my inspiration into the new story, which added a few
pages. “A journal… Maybe she can have a journal…” I muttered to myself.
After a few more days of finding little tips and tricks to
increase my word count without much more meaning to it, another two pages was
due. I wasn’t ready to get my check-in or turn it in yet. My teacher finally
got the gist that I was having a problem when I missed the second and third
check-in dates, and she asked how I was doing.
My response came back similar to “It’s going okay!” but I
must have had a sheer look of terror on my face. She looked over my story so
far and she told me it was a good start. She also said I needed to understand
the control I took of characters. They were mine, like puppets on puppet
strings. I tried to imagine each movement of their limbs and the story
progressed at an odd rate. I compared my story to the books I’d read, and it
was the piece of information I needed. Slowly the story started to come
together, and whenever I got stuck I read back through my work so far to see if
there was anything I could edit to fix pacing or change my diction.
Eventually this became what I fixated on and it was a
problem of length all over again. The last time my teacher checked in with us
there was still a week or two left. I barely had half of my story done. She
suggested I focused on the story again and write out as much as I could before
editing. Easier said than done, but I tried to do as she instructed.
On an odd day when I felt inspiration but didn’t know how to
write it out, I went and asked Mai Ly for help. She suggested free writing to
me, but, when I asked about how to incorporate the writing I’d done she didn’t
know how. All the students but the experienced writers in the class were facing
the same problem as me. I continued to write, determined to at least have something
to turn in. I copied and pasted everything I’d written into the assignment and
edited from there. That added about 1,000 words to my story. I was almost at my
total goal.
With no further assistance I could get from my teacher, and
Mai Ly hard at work on her own piece, it was time for me to finish on my own. Using
the knowledge of what I’d learned in the class and fought to keep myself
focused up until the bell, even if I had to run to the bus. What mattered was
that I learned from the experience I gained in the class, and finished the last
assignment. To get a last minute attempt at help, I asked my English teacher to
edit my work about a week before the school year ended, which she not only did
edit but she also improved my grade in English because she found me to be
proficient in writing at long lengths. I didn’t end up getting my story back
from either my English teacher or my creative writing teacher, but both told me
when I came back the next year that they loved the story and my creative
writing teacher actually suggested I write a book off of it. Just hearing that
sentence alone was more important to me than the A I received in the class.
When I originally registered for high school, I had music
production as my elective, and was disappointed by having to take creative
writing instead, but it turned out to be the most inspirational class of my two
years of high school.
5 Questions About My Narrative
1. What was your main point (thesis)? “The Moral of the Story”?
The thesis of my story is that through an assignment in a creative writing class I learned to write without editing every single word over and over again, which made my stories longer.
The thesis of my story is that through an assignment in a creative writing class I learned to write without editing every single word over and over again, which made my stories longer.
2.
Who was your audience? What did
you assume about them? What “audience
needs” did you have to consider in writing the paper? How did you tailor your writing to them?
I thought about students and a teacher reading my narrative, so in a small patch of dialogue I wrote in your stereotypical students: the slacker and the hard worker. They were genuinely in my class on my left and right, so I thought it would be fun to write them as if they were the little devil and angel on my shoulders. For the teacher, there was a part I thought they could relate to. My character looks all over the room and even at the teacher grading and I imagined the teacher looking up and seeing me distracted. Eventually the teacher catches on and asks what's going on with me.
3. What feedback or reactions did you get at various times while composing
this paper, and how was this helpful?
What other kinds of input or support did you get from classmates,
teacher, tutors, others? Were you able
to make use of it? How, or why not?
I heard that a lot of my sentences were very complicated and hard to follow. One of the last things I did when editing it was look over the entire paper and read it. Whenever it made sense, I split up the sentences into shorter simpler sentences. (Thanks Jacob) I also saw that how I aimed to connect with my audience worked, and my student annotator enjoyed my dialogue. I also got called out on using the word "hard' too many times, and saw synonyms for it all over my paper. Now I don't think I use the word hard once.
4. What did you find interesting about the process you went through in
writing this paper, and what did you learn from it?
When I saw the theme for this assignment I was not at all excited, which was weird since I love to write. I read the other narratives again and disliked how far this assignment was from my usual genre: fiction. Then I got inspiration from the mini-lecture before we annotated each other's work. A narrative still needs a problem, trials, and a solution. So I wrote in a conversation, dreamt up some techniques I use now to write, and tried to make it a bit more interesting for me to read.
5. What questions do you have for me about the paper? (What part(s) of the paper would you like me
to focus on? What do you see as the
paper’s strengths, and what areas are you unsure of?)
Not to sound like an English nerd, but I would like you to focus on grammar as well as the format of the narrative. The annotations in the textbook were so vague I didn't necessarily understand what format you're looking for. As for strengths and weaknesses, I thought the balance I chose between details, dialogue, and challenges actually made the story better as a whole. However, I tend to make things complicated, and I fear Murphy's Law applies: Anything I could make overly-complicated was overly-complicated, and that was the biggest weakness.
Thursday, October 8, 2015
My Narrative: 5 Characteristic Features
The five characteristic features are:
What happened/who was involved.
The setting.
Vivid descriptve details.
A point of view.
And a morale/clear point.
How will I incorporate them into my narrative? As the story I have in mind largely involves three main characters: my creative writing teacher, another student, and I. It revolves around writing a piece with help from those two, so there isn't a way not to include them. The setting is mostly just the classroom, since we had a lot of in class time to work on the assignment. The thing that makes the story come alive for me is the fact that it was a big project and something I had no clue how to even start, it was so big I had never attempted something like it before. It would be from my perspective, since that's the only one I know well enough, and it matters because it was the start of my book writing journey.
What happened/who was involved.
The setting.
Vivid descriptve details.
A point of view.
And a morale/clear point.
How will I incorporate them into my narrative? As the story I have in mind largely involves three main characters: my creative writing teacher, another student, and I. It revolves around writing a piece with help from those two, so there isn't a way not to include them. The setting is mostly just the classroom, since we had a lot of in class time to work on the assignment. The thing that makes the story come alive for me is the fact that it was a big project and something I had no clue how to even start, it was so big I had never attempted something like it before. It would be from my perspective, since that's the only one I know well enough, and it matters because it was the start of my book writing journey.
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
Literacy Narrative Paper (finished)
1.
Visual description: “When she opened the front
door, the whole street looked like a river,” on page 129, paragraph 3 of Lydia’s
Story.
2.
Vivid dialogue: “How can I get A’s in all my
English classes but fail the writing part of the proficiency test twice?” in
the back of our Literacy Narrative packet.
3.
Sensory description: “Her tongue became dry and
her lips were cracked, but she was only aware of being terrified of the water,”
on page 130, paragraph 3 of Lydia’s Story.
4.
Literacy Narrative: Creative writing
final
5.
Purpose: I want to tell this story not only for
the assignment, but to reflect on a memory I’ve had about the writer’s block
and lack of motivation during my creative writing final, to see if I can beat
my current writer’s block.
6.
Audience: I, as an audience member, will have
been in this experience, but from talking to a few people around me I don’t
think people will have had the same experience or outlook on this similar to my
outlook if they did take a creative writing class.
7.
Stance: I have a positive attitude about the
subject, and even a little bit self-critical of my previous habits. I want them
to see that even though I enjoy writing this was hard and it still is something
I struggle with. I am not the best writer.
8.
Design: This will be in a narrative format, but
on a blog, so more description would be better for the readers to get the vibe
and feeling of my piece.
9. The walls were white inside my creative writing
classroom, and the left wall was dominated by windows. I sat to the left of the
teacher and faced the windows, and there were Japanese posters on the walls as
if a Japanese class was taught in there. There were 3 desktops permanently
placed on a table in the back of the room, to the right of them was a cabinet.
There was an organization center underneath the windows where we got our work
back from, and a drawer for every class. My class’ drawer was at the bottom
since I was 6th period. Once the first week ended, the back ring of
chairs were always full. A few in the front would always be open but other than
the 5-6 chairs the classroom was full.
10.
What I remember most about the class was not
Mrs. Boss’ voice, but the quite hum of computers and clicks as people worked on
their two pages per day, at the beginning of class everyone would speak quietly
with their neighbors if they had a question, but as the period went on the hum
got louder as people got more excited for the end of the day.
11.
Every now and then, a few prissy girls would
spray Victoria's secret perfume that left a bad taste in your mouth, and not
only did the teacher hate it, but so did all of the students. If you smelled like
Victoria’s Secret the class would yell at you to go to the bathroom and get it
off somehow.
12.
Depending on the prompt, I felt differently.
When Mai Ly was there it was a lot of fun, she and I would trade work and I
loved to see a different writing style. DT and the Steam Punk girl always made
things interesting, from distracting Mai Ly to sitting on the floor and being a
nuisance.
13.
Since it was high school I couldn’t really eat
anything in class, so I didn’t taste anything but the gross perfume.
14.
Mrs. Boss, my teacher, had a bigger body type,
but it fit her personality. She was outgoing, and critical, and smart, and
funny when she wanted to be, but she only respected you and was only nice to
you if she received the same treatment. She was a huge inspiration to me, from
her master’s in Creative Writing, to the idea that you don’t have to be liked
by everybody to be a good person. I always liked her because she was more direct
like me and liked to write and get things done, so even though my class mates
didn’t like her as much I loved her and her words to me. She didn’t critique my
writing but my ideas, the point was to make you feel better and to inspire you
to write more often. Even when I wrote child’s poems and couldn’t think of
anything to write about because I hated the assignment, she helped me feel a
bit better about it.
Mai Ly, my best friend in that class,
was so nice to me and kind, but that wasn’t how she acted towards everybody.
She was sassy and intelligent, without feeling the need to cuss or talk about inappropriate
topics. She was an amazing friend and always traded her writing with me,
genuinely not dealing with the drama or shenanigans occurring in the classroom
and trying to focus on her writing. She encouraged me to do the same and took
me under her wing, meeting up with me outside of class to focus better or talk
about YouTube videos we like to watch and compare stories, editing and swapping
back the other’s stories.
15. B= Mrs. Boss
C= Chloe
C: "Hi Mrs. Boss, I'm having a bit of a problem."
B: "How is your story coming along? Is it about that?"15. B= Mrs. Boss
C= Chloe
C: "Hi Mrs. Boss, I'm having a bit of a problem."
C: "It's going okay, and yes. I'm having a bit of an un-creative streak. What do you suggest to do until I think of more to write about?"
B: "Look over your story so far to get a better idea for your writing style."
C: "Sounds like a good plan."
B: "And make sure you continue to write your two pages a day so you stay on track."
16. In my narrative, I am faced with my longest project yet: a fifteen page piece of the genre of my choice, with one month (check that) to write it. With the help from my teacher Mrs. Boss and a fellow writer by the name of Mai Ly, I create a story line from a fantasy genre and push past my habits to procrastinate and quit half way through until I reach my goal.
17. This story matters to me because it was the first big writing task I’d done, and later sparked a train of ideas that led to my first attempt at a book. It was a big achievement for me as well because not only did I write over 10,000 words on one topic, I did it in a timely manner. I wrote at least 200 words per day (which was amazing for me at the time), and I did it every day except for when I was so far ahead of the class I could take a day off. Instead of procrastinating, I’d found something I enjoyed and worked hard on it before it was due. I remember I was so disappointed that my teacher left to go get married and I never got to see my result. However, I did get my English teacher to look at it, and when both teachers agreed it was good I was over the moon. The idea that I could possibly become a writer someday made all of the possibilities for future careers open up. I started to more actively pursue writing, and whenever I remember writing and haven’t done it in a long time I have the habits I started to develop writing that paper come back and I write for a few days straight. I hope to one day expand on that piece I wrote and finish the book that would be a part of, but I don’t know if it will ever happen.
Responding to Others
I really enjoyed reading other's blog posts and responding to them, because even though we all read from the same textbook, all three main points I read from theirs were different from mine, and each other. As I started to write, I came up blank on what I should write my post about, because I only really grasped the basic concept of thinking and acting rhetorically. But after reading a few peer's, I understand that rhetoric is used to be effective, audience friendly, and to get a message across. It makes understanding your message interesting and possibly even enjoyable.
Thinking and Acting Rhetorically
Thinking and acting rhetorically, to me, means you understand how to communicate effectively. To be specific, acting rhetorically is understanding the context of your audience and using an effective way to communicate with them. To give an example I saw in the text, Martin Luther King Jr. was thinking rhetorically when he spoke to his target audience: other African Americans who felt hopeless. Since his topic wasn't something you could prove with numbers or facts back then, he took a different way of acting rhetorically when arguing with his opponents. He continued to oppose them even as they started to lose control of their emotions, and he continued to analyze their motivations and ways of communication to shift his message. When they started to get violent, he would set up a march, or address people who agreed instead of trying to fight. He understood they couldn't be simply persuaded by words and that they wouldn't listen to him, so he communicated more efficiently by giving his people hope. It communicated that he wouldn't give up.
Thinking rhetorically is a different matter because it is best used not just when you have an English paper, but when you're speaking to someone day-to-day, or any form of communication period. Thinking rhetorically is considering your audience and how you would possible communicate with them. In chapters two and three the textbook covered rhetorical situations and the writing process, and the preparation and thinking period they describe would be thinking rhetorically; it isn't something anyone but you knows you're doing, but it is just as important as acting rhetorically.
Thinking rhetorically is a different matter because it is best used not just when you have an English paper, but when you're speaking to someone day-to-day, or any form of communication period. Thinking rhetorically is considering your audience and how you would possible communicate with them. In chapters two and three the textbook covered rhetorical situations and the writing process, and the preparation and thinking period they describe would be thinking rhetorically; it isn't something anyone but you knows you're doing, but it is just as important as acting rhetorically.
Thursday, October 1, 2015
Rhetorical Situations -- Narratives
Chloe, Corben, and Riley
Lydia’s Story
For the first question all of us agreed the purpose could be summarized in the last line in the essay: “It represents the essence of hope and determination in the face of terrible adversity.”
For number two, I answered that it was in Lydia’s POV, Riley said it was from 3rd person, and Corben said both.
For the second question, we all agreed seeing it through Lydia’s perspective made the story more intense because it was as if you were in the situation with her, and the story only got worse and worse. Seeing it through her perspective allowed you to feel her rising panic. It started to create an emotional experience for the reader.
When we answered for the third question, all of us had different answers but they made the same point. Corben said that words like “cracked lips” and “dry mouth” were phrases that really specified what Lydia was experiencing and portrays those emotions in detail to the reader.
Chloe said words and phrases like "rushing" water, "horrified", her place on the kitchen counter becoming "precarious", and speaking of the water levels compared to Lydia's height made the writing more vivid.
Riley said that words like journey, cramped, precarious were important to the overall tone.
For number four, Riley said that when Lydia was rescued by the group of medical professionals, it was especially Important to the audience as they would have to think of the lives of other people who were left and the complete lack of preparedness that led to the death of so many people during Katrina and Rita.
On question number four, we agreed the audience would be to a “higher class” or more educated reader, such as a doctor, researcher, or a first responder. Their precise choices in diction such as the words “abscessed” and “enormity” further show this point.
Chapter 2 Guidelines and Lydia’s Story comparisons
(Corben) Lydia’s story was highly thought out and worded to a certain style of reader. The word choice and phrasing is written for a more advanced reader. It is also styled to be informative and get the point of Lydia’s determination across to the reader. Most of the writing I have done is with a certain reader in mind, usually a teacher. My writing has been formal and edited very carefully, learning about rhetoric has helped me understand why I was writing so formally to my teachers.
(Riley) The story was stylized and it was easy to see how the narrative would be a good example for demonstrating how different parts of writing can affect the overall meaning, and how the story comes across to the audience. By having read chapter two first, it was much easier to do the questions associated with the story because we had already been given what to look for when analyzing the writing to answer the questions. The writing I've done also follows this general rule of shifting and changing small pieces or parts of your writing to give it a different function or allow for a different conversation to occur. You will definitely be writing differently for a research essay than you would be for a quick text to a friend. Understanding how small changes can have large effects is very helpful when considering your own writing as it allows for a greater level of understanding how to get your point across in the most effective way in terms of the audience.
(Chloe) Personally, as a narrative and fiction writer for fun, the style was similar to writing I've done in the past: it’s a story that follows a character that overcomes the problems in front of them. It was your standard narrative design with a purpose to inform a more educated audience than my writing, but the genre was the same. This shows how powerful one small change in writing can be and how different your end result could turn out.
“Think About” Summary
Overall, we decided and found out that people talk a lot, and almost every story they share is a narrative. We found out many conversations are just a series of narratives.
Even when we got off topic talking about sign language instead of the assignment, Riley shared a narrative her brother and his sign language class.
“Think Beyond Words” Summary
We all agreed that the videos were more powerful, most importantly because their body language shows more than words ever could. You would see them talking and know it was painful for them to remember because of the look on their face, even if their words were neutral. You can’t capture trying to hide pain in writing because you need to communicate more through your words, and that ability is something you gain when you watch their video.
“Compare Narratives” Summary
The two medias we chose to compare were in person and an essay. There are some obvious differences that we spotted right away is in person is much less formal, the emotion is easier to see because it’s on their face and in their tone, and the person you are speaking to probably isn't as worried about being proper as getting their point across so you understand how they feel.
In an essay however, proper grammar and spelling are two issues that limit the ability to convey the message in a simple way because it’s not about how you feel as much as the presentation of the idea itself. It’s a lot less personal than in person because it’s to a wider audience of people, but you lose so much when you can’t relate as well to the author.
"Think Beyond Words"
I think the videos were more powerful than writing because then you have a face to match to what they say, and it makes everything a lot more real not having to imagine the person in your head, and that it's actually happening to the person you see on the screen. It may not be as deep as you may get to read about in writing, but there is so much communication through their body language it more than makes up for it.
"Think About"
Narratives I heard today so far:
1)My friend and I talking about her Spanish and Math classes at her school.
2)Living In Shadows, the story I found that I wrote 2 years ago.
3)Lydia's Story.
4)"How was school?"
5)"How was work?"
1)My friend and I talking about her Spanish and Math classes at her school.
2)Living In Shadows, the story I found that I wrote 2 years ago.
3)Lydia's Story.
4)"How was school?"
5)"How was work?"
Lydia's Story
Questions 1-4 on page 131:
1) The main point I gathered from the story is what they wrote at the very end of the paper: "It represents the essence of hope and determination in the face of a terrible adversity," similar to when Lydia said she was proud she'd kept her head up even though her house was being flooded.
2) Lydia has the main point of view throughout the story, which helps clearly define exactly how bad the circumstances were. Overall it made the story more powerful reading about a near death experience and how she got saved then reading rom Brideau's POV and reading about how wounded people were. This was a story about hope.
3) Brideau used words like "rushing" water, "horrified", her place on the kitchen counter becoming "precarious", and speaking of the water levels compared to Lydia's height such as once the water had receded, it was still up to her skin. It helps create a more vivid picture in the reader's head and makes them relate that panicky feeling they may have had before, and empathize with Lydia in the story.
4)The original audience for this piece would probably have been search and rescue crews, but specifically the nurses who help rescue and heal people in those situations. Other doctors may have been targeted by the piece as well, because Brideau used phrases and words like "abscessed", "tender", "extracted", and the number of days she went without food, all with a medical goal in mind. Because her cheek was tender, the tooth probably needed to be extracted, etc.
1) The main point I gathered from the story is what they wrote at the very end of the paper: "It represents the essence of hope and determination in the face of a terrible adversity," similar to when Lydia said she was proud she'd kept her head up even though her house was being flooded.
2) Lydia has the main point of view throughout the story, which helps clearly define exactly how bad the circumstances were. Overall it made the story more powerful reading about a near death experience and how she got saved then reading rom Brideau's POV and reading about how wounded people were. This was a story about hope.
3) Brideau used words like "rushing" water, "horrified", her place on the kitchen counter becoming "precarious", and speaking of the water levels compared to Lydia's height such as once the water had receded, it was still up to her skin. It helps create a more vivid picture in the reader's head and makes them relate that panicky feeling they may have had before, and empathize with Lydia in the story.
4)The original audience for this piece would probably have been search and rescue crews, but specifically the nurses who help rescue and heal people in those situations. Other doctors may have been targeted by the piece as well, because Brideau used phrases and words like "abscessed", "tender", "extracted", and the number of days she went without food, all with a medical goal in mind. Because her cheek was tender, the tooth probably needed to be extracted, etc.
Chapter 2 page 23
What I've written in the past week:
1) Editing an old piece of writing I'd written two years ago.
2) Texting back and forth with friends. (Example 1)
3) Tweeting.
4) Writing a chapter in the novel I'm writing. (Example 2)
5) Notes for my classes.
6) On this blog.
7) Research for my speech class. (Example 3)
Texting my friends is always casual, just sharing my thoughts with people I talk with a lot. Sometimes we argue over something silly, but usually it's ranting about how things are at home or the homework or a guy I know my friend likes, and it's simple because there isn't really a specific template for how to write a text. It can be one word long or a long paragraph.
In the book I've been writing recently (I have two I'm working with on and off) it's a realistic fiction about a girl becoming a book editor. Because I chose such a society-based genre, it has many many restraints. For example I can't really write into the novel "and then the dragons attacked." A problem with this book is I don't necessarily know who it will reach, I only know I'm writing the book so if I picked it up not having written it I would want to read it and enjoy it. Thankfully I have a tablet I can write it on because my handwriting is slow and sloppy, so if I have a good idea I can write up to 1,500 words in an hour, and since I love to read the design is something I've seen thousands of times before.
The research for my speech class is a bit harder than I expected, because they are originally written in a note format but later on I know they will go into a speech outline. The things I pick to take notes on have to layer nicely so I have a well formatted outline that is easy to speak about. I know since I am speaking to a class who all had to do the same thing there will be a little grace, but since my teacher has been hearing speeches for so long even deciding what my topic would be about was a little nerve wracking. Thankfully since it's an informative speech I didn't have to pick a controversial topic or pick a side, instead I'm just supposed to teach the class about what I picked, and the research helps me find out exactly what else is known about my topic.
1) Editing an old piece of writing I'd written two years ago.
2) Texting back and forth with friends. (Example 1)
3) Tweeting.
4) Writing a chapter in the novel I'm writing. (Example 2)
5) Notes for my classes.
6) On this blog.
7) Research for my speech class. (Example 3)
Texting my friends is always casual, just sharing my thoughts with people I talk with a lot. Sometimes we argue over something silly, but usually it's ranting about how things are at home or the homework or a guy I know my friend likes, and it's simple because there isn't really a specific template for how to write a text. It can be one word long or a long paragraph.
In the book I've been writing recently (I have two I'm working with on and off) it's a realistic fiction about a girl becoming a book editor. Because I chose such a society-based genre, it has many many restraints. For example I can't really write into the novel "and then the dragons attacked." A problem with this book is I don't necessarily know who it will reach, I only know I'm writing the book so if I picked it up not having written it I would want to read it and enjoy it. Thankfully I have a tablet I can write it on because my handwriting is slow and sloppy, so if I have a good idea I can write up to 1,500 words in an hour, and since I love to read the design is something I've seen thousands of times before.
The research for my speech class is a bit harder than I expected, because they are originally written in a note format but later on I know they will go into a speech outline. The things I pick to take notes on have to layer nicely so I have a well formatted outline that is easy to speak about. I know since I am speaking to a class who all had to do the same thing there will be a little grace, but since my teacher has been hearing speeches for so long even deciding what my topic would be about was a little nerve wracking. Thankfully since it's an informative speech I didn't have to pick a controversial topic or pick a side, instead I'm just supposed to teach the class about what I picked, and the research helps me find out exactly what else is known about my topic.
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